Risky Sexual Restraint

A consideration of repressed desire and how it bursts out into unsafe sexual extremes. Using real life examples and metaphor, sexual responsibility gets defined beyond the limits of tradition.

When we have been held back sexually the desire to feel more alive often (unintentionally) leads to more restraint.

Like a caged animal that bursts out with excitement and runs straight into traffic, the desire for sexual joy can go off half cocked, add the use of alcohol and the risk increases. A loss of inhibition coupled with dulled sensation tends toward extremes. When unsafe sex or crazy partners leads to real remorse or misery the idea naturally arises to go back in the cage if it seems safer. The dichotomy of either living more repressed or sexually playing with matches and gasoline creates enormous tension, but this is a black or white fallacy.

Birds stretch their wings and flutter around the nest before the vast sky becomes their playground. Humans need not abandon reason to leave the familiar nest nor do we pretend that a mature bird can’t also get caught by a cat. Let’s distinguish this from a fledgling flopping around on the ground with an excited kitty.

Those who have experiences beyond the Jekyll and Hyde world, perhaps not ideal but certainly worthwhile, are kind to share their experiences and criticisms. But remember nobody knows the outcome of human interactions. If tradition tells us anything, it’s that confidence and strong feeling in an idea doesn’t guarantee anything. What we have done before may not happen again nor can we really be assured of a particular result by imitating others.

For two decades my approach has been that there are many people that are wonderful to love. The trial and error of finding those people is like being in a wandering caravan. The precious freedom to come and go hasn’t stopped some from staying for many years.  Some change from lovers to friends or the reverse. Not everyone has the temperament for such a life but those who do make it juicy.

We don’t need to go crazy to try new things.



Published by Todd Vickers

Site administrator and creator