Assuming the age of consent, any father who can’t bear the thought of his daughter discovering healthy sexuality let alone clinging to the sheets in ecstasy with a lover of her choice (of any sex or race) is a chauvinist – among other things. I am not saying he may not love and care for her. I am saying paternal love can and does exist in the midst of bigotry.
I say this because the troubled (and possibly anguished) father rejects the girl’s autonomy. This is sexism. Moreover, insult compounds injury when a male sibling receives daddy’s approval or even pride for sexual adventures.
From monstrous honor killings, to raging fathers screaming sexual epithets, to the disapproving withdrawal of affection and finally at the other end a wholesome respect for a woman’s self determination, every degree of gradation exists. The same reasoning often justifies the the worst of that spectrum along with the more moderate forms of coercion. The useless shame, misery and tears women must carry along the way disgraces the father or any man who participates in the injustice.
Hiding such prejudice behind some ideal of caring for women is absurd. My grandfather forbade my mother to go to college because he didn’t believe it was good that women should be highly educated. She resented that imposition for the rest of her life. She had a scholarship and wanted to do research. Who knows what we may have lost in that bargain. Erase the word college and replace it with whatever you like, it would still be invading the sovereignty of women’s lives and nowhere is this more prevalent than in sexuality.
Trainers control animal actions by making the behavior they want to instill the easiest thing a creature can do. Masters may be nice and they may give rewards but still coercion rules. They see a living thing as a means to an end. What is good for domestic animals is unacceptable for humans.
To the men who feel uncomfortable with this view I would say this: Even if you believe your ideas are correct you are not obligated to obey them. You are not a slave to your prejudices, or are you?
–By Todd Vickers
Content Copyright 2012 © Vickers Publications. All Rights Reserved
I just read the piece and enjoyed it very much. It is such a concrete example that could be used in many different arenas by just replacing the words/thoughts as you said.
Why is it that sexuality seems to be such a powerful way to make a point? Why is it that hardwired human capacities are barricaded and not embraced? As you said, who knows what may be lost?
Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after looking at many of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Regardless, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back frequently!